My Thoughts Run From Me

my thoughts run from me
flittering and prancing to a tune i can’t seem to decipher.
and in all of this musical cacophony
that rings in all of me
i am lost. 
for my words hold no power
nor can they amount to the greatness
that their syllables preach. 
i am a shell of a soul waiting to be filled
with the things that i can only contemplate being,
not yet seeing life clearly. 
through it all i had found a glimmer of hopeful gleaming
but through transformation i seem to have only died more.
the flame is faint. 
can i rekindle it to the beaming fire i once had inside? 
when things were bright and new and exciting?
when cares were merely passing and
not lingering giants of torment and self hate? 
i am asking for help but can’t seem
to find the strength to dig
deep enough to find it.